Duo Ma’s friend Xiaopi Mom encounters such a problem. Every time she takes her children to the supermarket, the child will depend on the toy shelf and refuse to leave. She must buy her favorite toys. Dou Ma’s friend Xiaopi Mom encounters such a problem. Every time he takes the child to the supermarket, you must buy your favorite toys.
Friends worry that if there is no similar type of toys at home, but there are more toys at home, there is no place to put it, the child still can’t control to buy and buy, buy and buy Intersection It was too embarrassing to make a group of people watching … No way! Friends will lose each time in this round, which can only meet the children’s requirements.
Friends are very worried that in the long run, this will not make the child more and more unreasonable for a long time. Will it make the child more and more unreasonable.
Such scenes may appear in many families. What should we do if we are a child’s mother?
Dou Ma believes that first of all, our position must be firm, because-
often compromise with children, which will make children “addiction”!
Psychologist Skinson once did such an experiment. Putting a hungry little white mouse in a box with buttons. At first, if the little mouse pressed the button, the food would fall into the box. in. So whenever the little white mouse wants to eat, you will press the box button.
In the next stage of the experiment, the researchers tried to reduce the provision of food. From the “one button to have food” at the beginning, it gradually reduced to “pressed for a few minutes to have food” to the end until the end of the end. Do not provide food at all. Researchers found that the little mice did not gradually decide the button. FinallyEven if there is something rustling in the nozzle, they are indifferent.
The inspiration of this experiment is that when the child finds that he will get toys as long as he crys, he will continue to take this method to achieve his own purpose. Parents always meet their children’s requirements in principle. In fact, they have strengthened their children to ask for toys.
After the child tried it repeatedly, this behavior seemed to intensify. In fact, most children buy toys in this way, and they will not cherish it at all. After a few days, there will be new requirements. Children will not treat this toy as a treasure, and even this toy is very cheap in the child’s heart.
But if the parents adhere to the principle in front of their children, even if they cry, they do not give toys, then the child will slowly understand: crying is useless. After all, lying on the ground and crying is also a matter of money. Over time, the child’s behavior of asking for toys through crying will slowly decrease, giving up this model of “one cry, two troubles, three bears”.
Then, the problem is here again! When the child cried and didn’t give a toy, did he keep him crying there?
No, we have a lot of things to do, do these points, and even avoid similar behaviors to children.
1. Before entering the supermarket, give your child a good need to go to the supermarket, tell the child what you want to buy today, let the children do it in their hearts, what can be bought, what are not buying, not buying it Within scope of planning.
2. When a child wants to buy toys, don’t say “no” if the child likes a certain toy very much, don’t rush to refuse first, a “no” word “no”, it is easy to ignite the child’s emotions at once Essence
You can ask the child first, for example, “Why do you want this car?” The child feels that he is understood by his parents and will be willing to communicate. reason.
For example, tell him: “Yes! But can you buy it when your birthday?”
or saying: “You have bought toys this month, you must until next month to you Buy it! “
Of course, if we have made such a commitment to our children, we must put the toy in front of the child that day.
Delaying the needs of children, not only avoiding the child, but also allowing the child to expect this play to play.
Maybe when we are a mother, we will want to buy all the best things in our ability, but we must also know that we will not love the child with restraint, so that we will not become doting.
3. The child is still crying, and don’t “generally consciousness” with TA. If the child’s emotions have not calmed down, they still cry.Mom may not be able to control the emotions, the fire on the fire, saying to the child:
“I know that I won’t take you here!”
“Know the cry! You know how shameful you are now, how shameless you are now ? “
In fact, this will only form a cycle of negative anxiety and cause the situation to deteriorate. You must know that your child wants to have something but is rejected is a big setback. What the child needs is understanding, not an adult with an emotional out of control.
Only when we keep calm can we handle the children’s emotions.
4. Let the child feel the sense of accomplishment in other things that children do not get their beloved toys immediately, and they will have a little loss in their hearts. At this time Get a sense of pleasure or accomplishment in other things.
For example, ask the child:
“How many tomatoes do we have to buy today? Mom doesn’t remember …”
” Can my mother say it? “
In addition to toys in the supermarket, there must be many new things that can attract children. May wish to make your child become your” little assistant “and make him busy. In this way, every time the child arrives at the supermarket, he only knows to watch toys and buy toys.
Interested mothers can poke the link to read: After half the year, bringing children to the supermarket like this is much better than the morning education class!